If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2? Why are you “in” a movie, but “on” TV? What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do “fat chance” and slim chance” mean the same thing? Why do British people never sound British when they sing? At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
Why are there no “B” batteries? Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck? How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts? Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is? Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? (2x 0 =??) Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a-door?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it? Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them? Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard? Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer? If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Isn’t Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse? Isn’t the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut? If you throw a cat out the window, is it considered kitty litter? War doesn’t determine who’s right, just who’s left. Why do we drive on parkways, and park on driveways?
If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym? Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? What’s another word for thesaurus?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”? Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food? Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make it stick to the pan? When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day. 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off? If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Why is the word abbreviation so long?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment? But when you transport something by ship, its cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes. Why don’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers? The light went out, but where to?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have? Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is the alphabet in that order? If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money? What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
Do fish get cramps after eating? Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go? Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not adoor? How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?
If “con” is the opposite of “pro,” then what is the opposite of progress? Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
We hope you don’t stay up late or all night pondering all these questions!