Have you ever read a story that you just knew was pulling your leg? The truth can be stretched in all different ways when yarns or ‘Tall Tales’ make an appearance. A tall tale is a story or a part of a story with unbelievable elements to it that are told as if they are true. Yarns are told to make an impression, for example, “a gust of wind that was so strong it almost blew the house down.” Tall tales are deeply rooted in American history. The frontier was a rough and competitive place; making the most out of exploits became important for those who settled the West
The WPA Montana Writer’s Project collected a few tales and Anecdotes for our enjoyment. Here are a few from An Ornery Bunch just to liven up the day.
A Very Narrow Escape: During the summer, the story is often told of the camper up in the hills who went in swimming. That year being an unusually wet year the mosquitoes had grown to an abnormally large size, many of them being about the size of hawks, with long spiked bills.
As the camper emerged from the stream a large flock of the hungry mosquitoes swooped down upon him. The unlucky camper looked wildly about for some protection from the hungry horde and seeing a large iron kettle near the camp fire he turned it upside down and crawled under it. He was kneeling there in the darkness under the big iron kettle hoping against hope that the mosquitoes would soon forget all about him, when suddenly he felt something poke him in the back. He looked up and saw to his dismay that the mosquitoes were drilling through the iron kettle to get at him. In desperation he picked up a rock that happened to be lying under the kettle and began clinching the stingers as fast as each mosquito would drill through the kettle. Finally, just as the last mosquito was firmly clinched to the kettle the swarm flew away with the kettle leaving the camper with no proof of his very narrow escape. Elmer Baird of Roundup, Montana
Outrunning A Storm: This rancher had a team of unusually fast horses and one summer afternoon drove this team to town hitched to a wagon. The wagon had a spring seat up in front and so, of course, the man rode sitting on the spring seat while his dog rode in the wagon box behind. Well anyhow, that afternoon while the man was on his way home from town there came up a big black storm cloud and it began to rain off in the distance behind a mile or so. He looked back and seeing that it was going to be a regular downpour and having no raincoat with him and having an unusually fast team, he whipped up his horses and gave them their head to see if he could outrun the storm, But the storm gained quite a bit on him before the horses got into their stride. He could hear the raindrops pattering into the wagon box behind him. He had to give all his attention to guiding the horses down the right trail and could not look back. The horses ran their best and he pulled up at his ranch house congratulating himself that he had escaped the storm, when, looking around, to his amazement he found that the storm had followed him so close that the wagon box was half full of water and his poor dog had had to swim all the way home! Elmer Baird of Roundup, Montana
Frozen Solid: Mr. O’Donnell is a human tome of Montana history and with especial emphasis on the Yellowstone Valley. When asked for a “Tall Tale” from his fund of western experiences, he replied as follows:
I know one or two. This story was told to me by “Teddy” Blue. Blue was walking across some of the range he owned when a blizzard came up suddenly. The cold penetrated his heavy clothing with apparent ease. He looked around for some shelter or cabin where he could get warm. He spied down in a coulee a man squatting near a fire and warming his hands. Blue walked toward the joyous sight of the fire in anticipation of warming himself. As he arrived at the fire, he thought he’d give the stranger a playful kick. “Howdy Pardner,” he said, but he retrieved his foot in a hurry for the man was froze as solid as a rock. He thought then that he would warm himself anyway. His disappointment was only aggravated greater for he found that the flames of the fire were frozen solid. Ignatius D. “Bud” O’Donnell
Old – Loggers’ Home Remedies: The Old-time loggers had many home remedies. Here are some of them: Fat bacon around your neck with dirty woolen sock was good for colds. Bunkhouses were always closed tight at night because the night air brought many diseases. Never change your clothes when you get wet. Let them dry on you or you’ll catch cold. Put your underwear on in the fall and leave it on until spring. If you change it, you’ll catch cold. Put a chew of tobacco on any wound to prevent infection. This very good to prevent lockjaw. Fay G. Clark
Dog Lore: Blue-eyed or marble-eyed dogs are thought to be the smartest dogs for working stock. Black collies are believed to be better workers than tan or yellow collies. Hair-faced doges are believed to be better sheep dogs than open- faced dogs. Police dogs are never trusted with livestock and there seems to be a strong dislike for police dogs of all descriptions. In the Musselshell Valley many people even go so far as to dislike the owner of the dog. Elmer Baird of Roundup, Montana
Skyscraper Barn: Tom Halbert built a structure several years ago. He was short of money and timber was scarce. He used willow posts for corner posts and sides, setting them in the ground in a vertical position. The following season he found that the posts had roots and were growing rapidly. That fall, the floor of the barn, which had before been on the ground, was three feet above the ground level. A year later, the barn was on stilts nine feet high and the owner placed another story underneath to conserve space and make entrance easier, making the original one-story barn a two-story structure. Another story has been added this season and the owner had to put in an elevator to take the stock up to the hay. It is only a question of time until the cupola will be looking down over the Snowies into Lewistown. The proprietor contemplates turning the growing structure into a sanitarium. It is certainly one of the strangest freaks that ever developed on Montana soil. Evelyn Rhoden rewrote this tale from a piece printed in the Hedgeville Herald.
If you have a sense of humor or adventure, maybe you can add a few of your own tall tales.