Nobody likes to talk about it. Yaa, I’ll do it soon. I’ll get around to it. I’ve got a lot of time – until you don’t.
Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult parts of life. No matter how prepared we try to be, saying goodbye is never easy, so why not try and make it easier for your loved ones left behind.
Preparing ahead of time will ensure you know what to do when someone dies at home, at night, if they were abroad, if it was sudden or unexpected, or even if the death was the result of a long illness or accident. What happens if both spouses are together in an accident?
There are five things that everyone should do before they die: No.1. Sign a durable power of attorney to manage your affairs if you become sick and unable to do so yourself. “Name someone you trust totally.”
Who is going to pay your bills, deposit your checks, manage your financial affairs and your business if you have one? We’re going to live a lot longer in general, and most of us will live under some chronic condition or disability that will impair us. The goal is to live with as much control and quality of life as possible.
No. 2. Write a will and maybe some estate planning if assets can be considered above average. State where this will can be found. Write your own obituary/death announcement. At least it will be correct. Writing an obituary or death announcement can be painful for those left behind.
No. 3. Write an advanced-care directive or living will, and give someone medical power of attorney to carry out your wishes about medical treatment at the end of your life. A durable power of attorney for health care enables you to appoint someone as your proxy to make health care decisions for you. Once again “Name someone you totally trust “.
No. 4. If you have dependent children, name a guardian to take care of them. If you have a disabled child, you may also need to consult a professional who can guide you through the maze of Medicaid and Medicare rules.
“Find a specialist who understands the benefits that may be available under Medicaid and Medicare, and who understands how those benefits can coordinate with asset planning,” Sabatino says. “If you leave everything to a disabled child, he or she won’t be eligible for aid. They will have to use up the entire estate before they qualify for aid. More thoughtful planning would allow the estate to complement public benefits. This is a growing specialty called special-needs planning.”
No. 5. Ease the trauma of your death for survivors by preplanning your funeral. Leave instructions on how you want your body to be disposed of. Make arrangements for the body or at least leave a document stating what you would like, such as cremation, where to be buried, memorial service or not, wake, open casket viewing, graveside burial, music, flowers or just donate to charities you want donated to.
Donate your organs. Carry an organ donation card in your wallet. Keep a second card with your important documents so it will be found quickly should you have an accident. In many states you can become an organ donor when you renew your driver’s license. For information, visit http://www.organdonor.gov.
Make sure you have life insurance if your spouse or children will need financial support after you die. Think about long-term care. Don’t assume that long-term care insurance will protect you.
The important thing is to start planning sooner rather than later, according to Dan Taylor, author of The Parent Care Conversation. Generally, people do not talk about this because they don’t know how to begin the conversation.
Help out those left behind. Start making lists. Leave instructions for how to care for children and pets. A list of who to notify. In the age of social media, news spreads quickly, and you don’t want close family members or friends to learn of a passing from Facebook.
Leave a list with phone numbers and account numbers of agencies or companies that need to be notified, such as: Social Security office and add your social security number, date of birth and where you were born. Believe it or not family will need all three.
Banks/Mortgage companies, it’s important to let mortgage companies and banks know of the death. List where the safety deposit box key is and at what bank the box is held and where the combination to a safe is. Include your bank account numbers and what banks they are held at.
Financial advisors/brokers – Just like finding the contact information for a bank or mortgage company, financial planners, personal bankers and brokers may be a bit hard to track down.
Insurance companies (medical and life) – Leave a list of account numbers and phone numbers of the companies as well as addresses. Remember the insurance companies from work as well as those you pay for yourself. Insurance will need to be canceled.
Life insurance policies with telephone number and account numbers should be in an easily accessible file. If you have insurance policies on your children whether it be life or medical, list each account under each child with account numbers and phone numbers for the companies.
List your health professionals and phone numbers. Any outstanding hospital, dental, podiatry or other health related appointments will need to be canceled.
Phone numbers of agencies providing care such as social services, home care givers, meals on wheels and day centers, financial organizations, banks, insurance companies (e.g., life, buildings / contents, medical, car, travel), pension providers, any financial institutions. All these services will need to be canceled.
List of property and utilities companies, their account numbers and phone numbers. Mortgage provider or landlords will need to be contacted, so provide a list of phone numbers.
List of phone numbers for buildings and property insurance companies to ensure continued cover especially if the property is left unoccupied or need to be canceled. TV/internet companies account numbers and phone numbers so accounts can be canceled.
Develop a file for these documents and make sure the following is included: a will, birth and marriage or civil partnership certificates, death certificates of a previous spouse(s), divorce papers showing any previous surnames of the deceased, any document showing a change of name, documents relating to state pension or benefits including insurance numbers, pension certificates, insurance policies, titles to vehicles, your obituary if you decide to write one.
Also add to the file a list of your passwords and usernames for all vendors, online accounts. Instructions for the funeral and place of burial. List of family members and friends with their phone numbers or mailing addresses. List of credit cards with their numbers, 800 number to call and cancel; include mailing addresses.
Make a list of places to call, their phone numbers and account numbers: Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, phone company, utilities, landlord, banks, veteran affairs, union, medical insurance, doctors, dentists, car insurance, where is 504 plans, tax accountant, stock broker, any place you do business even if it isn’t on a monthly scale, anyplace you might have a membership such as a gym or store
Keep a copy handy of a tax filing document and phone number if you have a tax accountant; because remember taxes will have to be filed. Do you have any brands that will need to be registered with the state – because this is a rural area?
Some of these suggestions are repeated because they bear repeating. Not only do you develop these documents, but print them and put them in a file. Develop a flash drive with all this information so it can be changed as things change. Keep the flash drive in an easily found spot for family. Last but not least talk to your family. Tell them where these documents can be found.
Leaving documents in a safety deposit box is great, but if no one knows you have a safety deposit box, where the key is or what bank that box is in – then all this work is very worthless.
All this sound overwhelming?? It is, BUT if you spend 20 minutes a day on a small portion of it, you would be surprised at how much you can accomplish in a short time. It’s time to talk about the hard stuff.